Sometimes I just can't find the answers I want with the too many questions that bother me. Maybe all of us get in a point where we can't simply find answers, and when we can't accept the truth that's slowly clears the issues in us. It makes me upset..and confused. For the times I want to seriously think of it, I start to feel guilty and afraid.
The truth will set me free! Maybe I need to accept the truth..or maybe I have to be blunt to myself, in a way that I could clarify what's happening.
Being in an almost three-year relationship makes me start to feel incomplete and tired. Honestly, I can't explain why I am feeling that way. It seems I am concentrating in his too many lapses in our relationships, making every simple mistake unforgivable, making me demanding, comparing. I am becoming unfair. It's all because of the confusion I am experiencing.
I am guilty of thinking of other man aside from my man. But who could tell me this is wrong? The things I see now are the 'wrongs' in our relationship, the long waiting, the petty quarrels. And adding the fact that my attention is driven by someone who says he loves me and he'll wait. I can feel his sincerity and truthfulness, that's why thinking of his words resulted to my unexplainable behavior towards my real man.
I am bothered. I wish for a peaceful relationship. I think and I am sure, that someone can give me peace. But I had my words for my man. I am thinking of all the times we've been through, and the fact that we survived all odds, the fights and the downs.
Oh God, am I losing my senses.. This is not easy. What if I am just afraid to say bye to my man? And what if I am just afraid to take the beautiful chance of loving someone whom I think will make me happy?
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