Ang Hirap mong Intindihin, Steph!

Pagkatapos mo sa office, san ka na? Well, dretso ng dormitory, dun ka nga pala lagi, wla ka nmang ibang pinupuntahan after work eh. Ewan ko ba, paminsan-minsan lang sumagi sa isip mo ang mag-malling, kasi nman, ang nsa isip mo, magtipid ng mgtipid.

Wala ka ng ibang ginawa kundi tumingin sa cp mo, buti na lang hnd ka naman nadidiappoint kasi mabilis pa sa alas kwatro kung malaalala ka ng mahal mo. Oo, yung mahal mo na wala na yatang ibang gnawa sa buhay nya kundi mgtext at tumawag. Pati load mo, siya na nga tagabigay. Isang salita mo lang, para siyang kidlat kung sumunod. Ramdam mo naman ang sincerity nya db? So Steph, mag-isip ka nga, napaka-demanding mo naman masyado!

Hindi ka nman ganyan kung hndi dahil sa may nagawa sya nuon, db? Pero naisip mo na ba ang lahat nag maigi bago mo pinagpapaniwala ang sarili mo na NILOKO ka at pinagmukha kang tanga? Yung dumalaw sa kanya na ex nya nuon sa ospital, naisip mo ba na kung sila talaga, bkit hnd nun bumalik yung babae? Bkit ba hnd ka naniwla sa mga kapatid ng mahal mo, na ni isang HI hnd ngsalita ang bf mo nung andun yung babae? Ano ba ang pnaghihimutok mo kunga nabasa mo sa cp nya ang mga text ng mga gf-textmates nya? Sa text lang naman lahat ng yun. Tnawagan mo nga lahat ng babaeng yun, at maalala mo ba ang mga sagot nila?

Yung si Lovely, sabi naman nya nun sau, "sorry, matagal na kaming hnd nagkita ni Dick at hnd ko sya bf", pero galit na galit ka pa rin dahil ang pakiramdam mo, naisahan ka, MAHAL din kasi ang twagan nila ng bf mo! Pangalawa, yung Ann, aysus, ang kulit mo naman talaga, ewan ko kung panu ka ngtop sa exam na hnd maintindihan ang salitang 'wala yun, kung sna gf ko, pinakilala ko n sana sa mga kapatid ko, ikaw lang kilala nila'. OO nga naman, ano p ba masasabi mo sa pakitungo sayo ng mga kpatid nya, lalo ka ngang knakampihan kesa sa kanilang kpatid. Mas espesyal ka nga kung ituring, nung nsa ospital kayo, hnd sila kakain hangga't hnd ka dumarating. Alas nuebe kana dumarating nun!

Susmaryosep, ayan, gumawa kayo ng friendster account nya, ibinigay sayo ang password. Ikaw na nga ang ngbubukas paminsan-minsan. Then ayun nga, nabasa mo ang mga messages ng kanyang isa n nmang EX. Grabe ang galit mo, feeling mo na naman, napagkaisahan, kc yun ung babae nun na minsan dumalaw din sa ospital. Pero hnd mo ba naisip, kung tlgang sila, bkit "WAla lang' nung dumalaw yung babae sa ospital. Naku, Steph, pwede namang nag-iilusyon ang babae db, sbi na nga ng cousin ng bf mo, patay n patay yun sa bf mo!

At least, ikaw ang napakilala sa mga tita at lola. Wlang araw na dumaan na hind ka maalala ng bf mo. Lagi syang may text. Pinakamatagal nang wla syang text sa loob ng 10 minuto! Ano pa ba? Pag galit ka, wlang wla sa isip mo na ikaw ang gustong pakasalan at gustong kasama habambuhay.. Nagmumura ka sa galit mo, dndown mo sya, snsabi mo pa 'pasalamat ka, ginusto kita, sino ka lang naman?'. Lahat ng pangit sinasabi mo sa knya. Pag wala ka sa mood dahil mejo hnd mo naperfect ang gnawa mong mapa, bglang 'pangit!' ang irereply mo sa bf mo. Lahat ng text ng bf mo, mayrong ILOVEYOU sa dulo. Anu pa ba ang hnahanap mp. Minsan pag nakaligtaan nya, sasabihin mo, 'hnd mo na ako mahal'.. Sus, grabe ka na, Steph!

Sino pa ba ang iniisip mo na babaeng pwede nyang ipalit sayo? Ikaw pa ang ipagpapalit? Ang bait mo kaya pag tulog! Ang tyaga nya sayo. Khit gnyan ka kamaldita, ayan sya, parang asong sunud-sunuran pag may sinabi ka. Sinabi nga nya, 'wla n ko hahanapin pa sau mhal, nsa u n lahat. Ang isip mo kc, 'lahat n ng kasamaan nsa iyo na rin!'.. Ibang level ang thinking mo, Steph!!!

Hala sige na, simula mamya, magpakatino ka nga. Wala syang babae. Wla syang iba. Kung mayron man, gnyan talaga ang buhay, hindi pa kayo mag-asawa! Yang paggiging selosa mo, bawas bawasan mo, baka kung hnd, magkatotoong ipalit ka nya, payag ka ba?!

Of course not. Kaya mo naman ibalik sa dati ang lahat, db? Yun bang buo ang tiwala mo sa knya. Mahal mo sya, Steph. Ngayon ka lang nagmahal ng gnyan katindi!

Geographic Information System

Yesterday, October 12, 2008 (Sunday) was my first training session of Geographic Information System, another technology in my field as a geodetic engineer and as a surveyor. Here we use the Manifold System.

I felt so lucky. This was a topic I have longed for. We still have sessions for the next two Sundays, and I am very glad I am chosen in my company to undergo such. It is quite a pressure on my part, but nonetheless, I consider it as a very beautiful blessing!

Geographic Information System or GIS is a very extensive tool in many of our demands- land use, geographic data, and land-based information systems. It is a technology that is already widely-used and experienced in other countries.

On my view as a GE, it is very essential providing accurate and relevant data all in one package, from titling to taxation, from single distance query to complex geographic analysis and projection, it is indeed a breakthrough!

I was particularly touched by one article shared by the lecturer - SURVEYOR SHOULD REMAIN MEASUREMENT EXPERTS. True. No other profession could best determine metes and bounds other than our profession. While lawyers handle land disputes and contest them on courts, still, they seek for our expertise when it comes to proving what is CORRECT and TRUE on the ground. We measure. We prove. We are accurate.

Aja to surveyors!

Babylon AD

It was a movie of Michelle Yeoh and Vin Diesel. Artificial intelligence. Protecting a hope for mankind, Aurora. Toorop was Vin Diesel’s name, a mercenary, a hardened warrior.

At the theater, seated beside me watching then was a man asleep! He had constantly asked me questions about why suddenly this and that happened, what had happened to Vin Diesel. I’ve known why, he is too sleepy to open his eyes and watch!

He was here to make things right? Hmm.. see, I am a spoiled girlfriend, at times my likes are all that happens. I don’t know if watching Babylon AD was his real choice from the list. All I knew he likes Vin Diesel and I am fascinated with Miss Yeoh. The rest of the story is yet to be judged.

I am happy. My friend says, why do I always make problems and demand things and demand his presence? For me, long distance relationship makes me vulnerable. No more no less!

Nursery Rhymes

I don't know why as I open my IMESH, I instantly think of downloading popular nursery rhymes-not for my three growing nieces and nephew, but just a fun for myself. From one song to another, I've played each song successfully saved in my computer. My officemates who hear, smiled and asked too many questions to show their amazement. Why suddenly?

I recall my childhood. CD's nor tapes then were not that familiar to our home, for we barely own a casette player. I grew up in one of the nearly remote areas of Cagayan province, the northernmost part of Luzon island. My mother was then pregnant with me when the NPA troubled the barangay they originally settled. I was then born at Pattao, nearer the highway, nearer the poblacion. Nursery rhymes were introduced to me when I first stepped at Kindergarten. And while I listen to the english version of PAA, TUHOD, BALIKAT, ULO, I can't prevent myself from smiling-recalling the memories I had in the classroom when I was in kinder. I hated standing and doing the action songs, I preferred playing outside, sing and act the London Bridge with my classmates. I was too shy when in class, yet I can't imagine how well I've done to remain top 1 academically.

It's only now that I know, there are too many nursery songs - most of them unfamiliar to me. Yet I know nothing could also surpass the many ilocano songs that tatang (my father) taught me and my siblings when we were still kids. I write one unforgettable song below:

Banbantay, turturod ti ayan mi
Kabalyo, nuang, baka ti lugan mi
Agsakay kam’ kabalyo aglagto-lagto

Uminom kam’ gatas nga adu!

What troubles me now is - who's milk we drink? The first lines refer to farm animals!

Sweet Home

I'm back here in Manila just this morning. There was so much to be thankful for, once again. Seeing my family is a great blessing I will always consider. Amidst the problems we have right now, nothing could ever equate the joy we share while being happy at simple moments as one.

And how's my heart? It starts to beat normally again. He waited for me long before I reached home. To make up, to explain, to reconcile and to let me know his life will never be fine without me. Closing my eyes, and thinking if this was really I wanted, i released another sigh. Yes, I am happy. Why bother other things so much?

My heart has found her sweet home. I do pray it's for good.

To Anie

To my dearest friend in Qatar:

It's been a very long time that we haven't seen each other. Yet I am so grateful for there still remained our sincere communication. My ups and downs I constantly shared to you, simply through SMS. It was of great importance to me, I have known real friendship throughout this time. First day of college experience had begun this friendship I secretly treasure in the deepest of my being.

We are now engineers, in different fields, as what we have eyed 8 years ago. I am so happy for your feats, from one country to another, you traveled for work's sake. While I also feel blessed for having a work I wanted and I am not difficult at.

Everything was fine except things with me. I was very open to you except for one thing I believed it should only be said at the right time. But I was worried I've shared it to you, and as i was expecting, you'll get mad and worst, judge me.

I've explained. Your 'bye" was all I got. I understand you. Even if I were on your shoes, I would be more than surprised. Foolish me. This is all my fault.

My extreme honesty was the last thing I knew to lessen the pain I have at heart.

Sad but True

Yesterday, I've opened up to a friend. I was relieved. With everything that has been going on in my life, in my relationship, there I've found refuge. With God, I slowly set my mind clear and relaxed for the first time.

He still kept on sending me messages last night. I was numb not to respond to his message this morning as I sit in my chair in the office. He reminds me that he really loves me very much and he will always be there, and he will wait when will i finally decide to accept him again.

I've closed my eyes for a minute. In my mind, I've figured out what might be his look upon sending me such message. I've thought of the same patient face that has never been erased in my head for two years now.

I will come back to you. But now, I need time to think and remake my thoughts.

Painful Moments. Seek God

Last night was another long night. He was still trying to call me. Three times separately on my three phones. But I answered nothing. I just stared at the ringing phones. And my eyes was busy reading his long messages.

He says it's easy for me to forget one like him, who never made any sense. He assures me of his love despite my withdrawal to our relationship. He hopes me to change my mind, and is pleading for me to send him reply, whether it be bad.

Sigh was my silent answer. Then feeling sorry for myself and to him, I said, please give me peace of mind. He was still trying to call before midnight. I was still wide awake, maybe just like him, I feel so hurt that I can't sleep.

And then what? Shall I regret? No. But I do admit, (I must) that I am so hurt. And I can't help but think of the days he is referring to - when finally we will be together again.

This is what I wanted. In few days, I may get over these. I promise!

Terrible

Fights make us. It defines how rude we are to each other. Evenings drive me crazy as I can't reach him through his number. His phone was off. Work was always easy for me, but when it comes to him, it brings me down to all negatives. Thinking right was the hardest thing I could, as hatred and anger were the only things in my head. Where the hell he was doing.

Days from now, we will be in our second year. With all the anger and suspicions I have in mind, that still he is the same unfaithful man I once had, I start to feel pity for myself. For all the emotions I hate, it always brings me to depression. Who cares?

Now, I am waiting for his call. Last night we talked. We talked and said undecent words to each other. I told him how i am so upset and unhopeful for all his acts.

I am not afraid to let go.

MV Princess of the Stars

A Philippine ship sunk near Sibuyan Island in Romblon, Philippines. It's the seven-storey-like ship MV Princess of the Stars.

I've felt sad for more or less 800 people dead, unrescued, and corpses unrecovered. Did God allowed this to happen for a reason? A reason HE only knows?

My life is simple. Simple but blessed. And my life is sensitive. I say so because I always have this HURT feeling hearing such stories. Tragic as it was, there is this piece of me being hurt and having this silent sympathy to their families.

The thought of many MAYBE's surge in my head. Maybe God wanted something. Maybe it was His way of reminding us to be back to Him beacuse we might have already gone astray.

Things happen for a vast of reasons. Some bring pain at the start, yet we must still go on and count our blessings instead. God brings us pain and lets us lose our loved ones, but HE does it for a reason - and that reason is something beautiful, that's what I believe.