The past is absolutely a mixture of rights and wrongs, of decisions not fully studied yet done. For me, my past is both a nightmare and a beautiful dream - of which fears were fought, goals realized yet heartaches and resentment still comes back inevitably.
If a time machine could lead me back, I think I won’t go back. There are many blissful moments but somehow, remembering the bad times makes me say NO. I recall the Testimonial Dinner as a recognition to the achievers after our board exam at St Louis, I was given the merit, yet my disgust because none of my family members was there to share the moment with me. I was told I had the nicest speech, among all others.
Worst when I had my oath taking. I was there all by myself. The next day was my job interview, my birthday too. Good things happen orderly, getting a job immediately was a great blessing! Maybe I’m just a sentimental and quite emotional, for some very important occasions in my life, I wasn’t able to share them with my parents, nor siblings. We have reasons which I think is uncalled for. I was bitter then to compare my situation with my friends and classmates, having almost all of their family members with them.
But hey, am I not more lucky than they?! I won’t say I made it without my family’s support. In my heart, I’ve felt their support and concern, especially my sister who did her best to assist me in my needs.
I remember giving her the book, ‘A Purpose Driven Life’, my way of showing my gratitude. I’ve written in the cover, ‘thank u, sis, you are the best’.
Now, my turn to extend that support to my other siblings. Thank God for making me strong. I don’t need to go back, perhaps.
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